Finding You
by archphoenix
Summary: Follow up from 'What Were You Waiting For'. One shot. Femshep/Miranda . Miranda died at Sanctuary and Shepard had to come to terms with her grief. Now she stands ready to make the final decision with memories of Miranda overwhelming her and having to accept her fate.


The child vanished and Shepard was left with complete control over the fate of the galaxy. There was only one decision that could possibly be right, and her heart was weary now. She just wanted this over with. She was ready.

Since Miranda's death, everything had gone by in a haze of depression and frantic, desperate desire which could not be soothed or consoled. People had demanded she be responsible for the galaxy, her friends had begged her to see reason but she just wanted Miranda. They'd had to drag her from her body at Sanctuary. It was the memories of Miranda which ultimately saved them all, for Shepard did not want to let her down. She remembered how proud Miranda had been to work with her, how their mutual love had grown during those hours working so closely together even if they did not know what the other was feeling. Miranda's confession of love as she lay dying had devastated Shepard. There was nothing but bitterness at the lost time. They had shared their only kisses in such a cruel and tormenting moment. Yet, her memories of Miranda overwhelmed her and ultimately made her realise she had to go on: that was the only way to honour Miranda.

She also had a secret plan which she hid from her friends as she could not stand to shatter their joy and relief at Shepard's decision to carry on: she would carry on until this was finished and then join Miranda.

The child had told her she would die and she could have wept aloud at the prospect of seeing Miranda again. This life was already lost to her, it had been for weeks. She wasn't the least bit scared.

Emily Shepard closed her eyes and took a deep breath, sure she could almost feel Miranda's presence and take in the scent of that oh so familiar Chanel perfume. She was certain Miranda was with her, she could feel the ghost of that silk smooth gloved hand in hers. She could feel Miranda's breath tickling her lips.

 _I'm here. You're so close, my love. Just a little further and it'll all be over. The pain will be gone. We'll be together again._

Shepard smiled as that beautiful Australian voice whispered in her ears, sure this wasn't a hallucination but honestly not even caring if it was. Just the thought of Miranda was enough.

She determinedly, with great effort, started to move forwards. Her right leg was almost completely useless and she'd never felt less graceful but she just had to keep going. She turned right and her gun had never felt so heavy and so absolutely present in her hand. She'd gotten so used to holding a gun all these years it almost felt a part of her, as though she was unnaturally lighter without it when she was onboard the Normandy but also weaker. She regretted that she had come to rely on a weapon for her life, but here it was faithfully about to carry out its best and kindest act for its owner.

She raised the gun, more steady and confident than she had ever felt before- living to die and dying to see Miranda again. She pulled the trigger and noticed how it bucked in her hand- she'd grown so used to it that she'd stopped paying attention to it many years before. She kept firing and flames began to engulf the column where her bullets rained. Each blast threatened to knock her back but she kept shooting. Nothing could stop her now.

The faces of those that had left her burst in front of her. Alenko. Thane. Mordin. Legion. Miranda.

Miranda.

A thousand different memories and different promises danced in her heart. She remembered when they first danced to jazz, how she'd been so desperate to kiss Miranda but they'd broken apart so awkwardly and reluctantly once the music ended. That night in the casino when she'd been so beautiful and Shepard tried to work up the nerve to ask her out but failed. It was the only downtime Miranda had. Shepard had begged her to join her on the Citadel but the next morning she would be gone again as she had a sister to save. She was worried any distraction would get Miranda killed.

That kiss. That first and then their last kiss as she lay bleeding in her arms and Shepard could do nothing to save her but Miranda was saving her now.

The flames engulfed her and she laughed wildly. Miranda had seemed so at ease in death and she understood that there were far worse things to fear. She felt a pang for her friends who would grieve at this news but they would go on. Tali and Garrus had found their way to each other, Jacob had a baby on the way, Liara had Feron...her place though was forever destined to be with Miranda.

The reapers started to fall and the ground below Shepard trembled and broke away, leaving Emily Shepard falling through the night's sky but the feeling of plummeting was ecstasy in her heart.

 _I'm here._

I've missed you so much.

 _I love you._

I love you.


End file.
